Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
