"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
