Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
