No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
