how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize