I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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