u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
