i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
the room spins SO much faster in panama
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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