..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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