I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
