don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
