Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
