She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
