well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
