I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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