summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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