Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
