I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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