you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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