He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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