Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
