I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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