i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
