i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
