I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
