Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
