Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
