This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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