Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
