I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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