Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
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