I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
