Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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