Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
