Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Pants 0. Shit 1.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
