Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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