I have demons in me.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
