You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
