things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
