He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
