she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
