I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
