his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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