i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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