Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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