she was so not down for the gang bang
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
