It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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