Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
