So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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