Pappa wants mamma naked
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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