The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
