The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
